


Janus doesn't like Halloween

by IShipAllTheSpaceGays



Series: Sanders Sides One-Shots [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Adoption, Child Abuse, Flashbacks, Foster Care, Halloween, Kid Fic, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Sad, Triggers, the sides are kids and Emile and Remy are their foster dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27300940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IShipAllTheSpaceGays/pseuds/IShipAllTheSpaceGays
Summary: This is angstyPls read the tagsIt's 3am I'm about to pass out I'm s o r r yHappy HalloweenEdit:Ok I fixed all the errors and stuff, changed some minor details, etc.And hey, I know this isn't really the best work ever but like,,, no comments? I mean that's fine but kinda makes me sad ;-; pls leave a comment. One comment has the power to literally make my entire week, no joke.
Relationships: Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides One-Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729141
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Janus doesn't like Halloween

It was Halloween night and nine year old Janus was working very very hard on his mask. He was so excited to go trick or treating. He knew that his mom was just gonna stay home and drink her grown up drink the whole night, and he didn't really want to be around when she started to act silly like she always does. Janus calls it that because when she first started drinking her grown up juice, all she did was giggle and act super silly with him. He kinda liked it when mommy got silly back then. But... after a while, she stopped being silly and started being super mean. Now, he only ever got hurt when she got silly, but the term still stuck in the child's mind.

Tonight though, Janus was over the moon because he'd been invited to go trick or treating with some of his classmates. He wanted to have a cool costume like his friends did, but he knew better than to ask mama if she could get him one, so he had to make one himself. He had been working on it all night and day. If he'd been asked by his friends sooner, he would have been working on it for days, but they only invited him at school the day before.

All he had was paper and cardboard, but that was okay. He wanted to be a snake, but he decided that was too lame and wouldn't work well with the materials he had. So he decided he'd be a dragon. Because he had such limited time though, he couldn't make a cool dragon head out of cardboard like he wanted. His new friends would be here soon and he didn't want to keep them waiting. So, he took a paper plate and cut holes in it for his eyes, glued some cardboard to the front of it for the nose and started to color it with his crayons.

After hours of hard, focused work, Janus was very proud of his mask. He tied string to it and put it on, squealing in excitement when he looked in the bathroom mirror. He looked so cool! It probably wasn't as good as the costumes his new friends would be wearing out, but that was okay, Janus was still proud of his work and he hoped they would be too.

Janus couldn't believe he was gonna get to go trick or treating! He hadn't gone since daddy went away, momma was always too silly to take him and she got mad when Janus asked, so he just stopped. Usually Janus would have to just sit on the couch and watch the kids going by. Mama never even bought him any candy or treats for Halloween. Janus understood that she was sad and she didn't feel good when she was silly, but he did wish they could have fun like they did when daddy was still there.

It was time for Janus to go meet his friends at the neighborhood park and he was happily skipping down the stairs with his pillowcase in his hand. He didn't realize mama was on the couch, but she was. She caught him as he was walking to the door, 

"Hey! The hell are you going?" Her voice slurred, telling Janus that she was already very silly. He flinched, his heart starting to beat quickly.

"U-Um… I was gonna go trick or treating...with my friends..." Janus explained, voice soft and nervous. He really hoped she would let him go.

She just scoffed and took another drink of her grown up juice, standing up and stumbling over to Janus. He had his mask on his head, not pulled down onto his face yet. She grabbed it and pulled, causing the string to slip off of him. 

"The fuck is this?" 

"M-My mask, mama.." Janus said timidly, "I made it! Do you like it?" He asked, hope glimmering in his eyes. 

Mama just squinted at the mask, looking at it harder, holding it tighter. Then she started to laugh. "You're gonna go out with this thing? You think your friends won't fuckin make fun of you for this? Look at this shit!" She laughed, shaking the mask violently. The nose fell off almost immediately, glue still pretty wet and not able to withhold the movements.

Janus gasped and went to pick up the nose. "Mama!" 

"What? I'm doing you a favor. It's shit, kid. Nobody is gonna think you're cool."

Janus felt anger bubbling up in his chest. As he stood from picking up the nose of his mask, his mouth began to move of its own accord, 

"Well maybe I would have a nicer mask if you bought me one." He mumbled. As soon as he said it though, he covered his mouth. He knew he was in trouble now. 

"The fuck did you just say to me?" Mama slurred. Janus opened his mouth to try and fix it, say something, but he couldn't. His voice wasn't working. "Fine. You want a mask, you ungrateful little bitch? I'll give you a fucking mask." Mama growled, grabbing Janus's arm and pulling him toward the kitchen.

Apparently mama had been in the kitchen boiling something, Janus guessed she was trying to make food. The young boy felt ice cold terror rush through his body when his mama pulled him toward the stove. He started to pull against her, but he was weaker than her. He hadn't eaten much at all lately because mama sometimes forgets that he needs dinner, or lunch for school, or breakfast. So yeah.. he was weaker than her, even if she was silly. 

"M-Mama let me go, please I'm sorry I-"

It all happened so fast. They got to the stove and Janus didn't even see mama grab the pot of steaming water. In a split second the nine year old was hit hard in the face with something, and directly after that he felt an unimaginable pain on the right side of his face and body. Mama had hit him in the head with the pot and the very hot water inside of it had been poured all over him. 

Janus's vision went white and he was suddenly on the floor, but he couldn't feel the old wooden floorboards. He didn't even notice he wasn't standing anymore, because all he could feel was pain. He didn't realize that he was screaming at the top of his lungs, begging for help. The pain was unbearable, the young boy writhed on the floor, blindly reaching out in complete panic, screaming for his mama to help him. 

"It hurts it hurts it hurts mommy please make it stop it hurts!" He sobbed, gasping desperately as the pain took over every one of his senses. He barely registered his mother screaming back at him, telling him to shut the fuck up, beating him with the now empty pot. All he noticed was that the pain didn't stop, it only got worse. 

Janus eventually passed out from the agonizing pain, and his potential friends eventually went trick or treating without him. 

That night, the police came. His screams had alerted the neighbors, and he was taken to the hospital, his mama taken to jail. 

Mama kept her promise though. She really did give him a mask. A permanent one. One that cursed him forever. One that ruined his life.

After the hospital, Janus was put into foster care. He spent days, months, years hopping from house to house. Nobody wanted him, he was too old, too ugly, too hard to handle.

The entire half of his face and body was heavily scarred, his right eye cloudy and hard to see out of. Every time anyone saw him, they'd gasp and back away. They were scared of him. No one wanted to be near him.

But that was okay, Janus found that he didn't want to be near anyone anymore either. His heart had been shattered and his trust had been betrayed one too many times. Everything hurt too much, and no one wanted to deal with him- hell, he didn't want to deal with him- so, he locked everything away. 

Their looks won't hurt if he didn't let them. 

Janus was fourteen when he moved to the Picani household. Emile and Remy Picani were the names of the foster parents. It was an interesting couple, two men. Janus had never seen that before. They were nice though. Almost too nice, it made him feel a little sick honestly. It felt fake, and Janus hated that. He hated that people pretended to be nice to him. Pretended to want him. 

This couple in particular was also fostering five other children, apparently. Well- one was adopted and one was related to Emile, so three other fosters. Janus thought they were insane. He didn't understand why they decided to take him in too. They clearly had their hands full. He supposed that they probably had to or something. After all, nobody else wanted him. 

Meeting them was the usual routine: Social worker introduces the couple to Janus, the couple gasps in fear and/or looks at Janus with eyes full of fake pity, Janus says nothing and he's taken to the new couple's home. This couple was unnecessarily talkative though. At least one of the two was. Emile talked all the way home while Remy just sipped his coffee and jumped into the one sided conversation every once in a while. By the time they got to the couple's two story house in the suburbs, Janus felt like he knew everything about them. He hated how much Emile talked.

That was a month ago now, crazy how fast a month goes by. So far the foster home seemed okay, but Janus knew that soon enough he'd somehow do something dumb and destructive to make Emile and Remy send him back. That's how it always went. Janus had a feeling he knew what that dumb destructive thing would be, because it was October 27th and Halloween was fast approaching. Too fast. Much, much too fast.

Janus had become noticeably more irritable as of late. He'd fought with Roman, shoved Remus and yelled at Virgil, making him cry, all in the last few days. Of course he felt awful about it, but there wasn't much he could do. Every day that damned holiday got closer, Janus felt more and more on edge. He hated Halloween, he hated it more than anything in the world.

Every year since he was put in foster care, Janus had ended up having a terrible mental breakdown on Halloween. The first year was the worst. He'd locked himself in the bathroom of his second foster home and cried for hours, forcing himself to stare in the mirror and relive every moment of that night. By morning he'd been passed out on the floor with bloody scratches all over his face and arms from clawing himself during his breakdown. The people fostering him brought him back to his social worker the next day.

The next four years were not as bad, but still pretty shit. He also didn't know how Emile and Remy would react to such theatrics. He figured they'd be angry like everyone else. Or maybe they wouldn't even notice, they had a bunch of younger kids to look after anyway. They didn't have time to waste on a nearly grown boy sobbing and clawing at his face like a baby. No, they definitely didn't need to see that either. The couple had enough stress to deal with, he refused to add to it.

As much as Janus has done to isolate himself, this family really had started to grow on him a bit. He did his best to keep his distance because he knew it wouldn't last, but that didn't mean these nice people deserved to put up with his crybaby bullshit. Janus was fucking fifteen now for god's sake, he shouldn't be doing this anyway. 

It was decided (by himself) that Janus would stay locked away in his bedroom for the entire day. Thank the non-existent lord that Halloween landed on a Saturday this year. Otherwise Janus would have to come up with an excuse to stay home from school. 

It didn't help ease his mind that Virgil, Remus and Remy were practically obsessed with the holiday. As soon as October 1st hit, Remy was getting out his "spooky" décor. As the month progressed, things Halloween related began to pop up all around the house. Some things triggered memories, some things made his scars hurt, but most things were okay.

Though all of it made him uneasy, nothing had caused a panic attack or a mental breakdown. Not yet at least. 

The 31st came around much too fast, and Janus had kept his promise to himself and stayed locked in his bedroom with his headphones on, blasting music all day. The music was helping, he just mindlessly doodled in his notebook or read for most of the day. But as the daylight seeping through the blinds on his window began to fade, the anxiety and sick, heavy feeling in his stomach started to become more and more noticeable.

Soon it was pitch black outside and he could hear the boys downstairs loudly getting ready to go out with Remy for the night. A small part of Janus's heart tugged at the thought of going trick or treating. The little kid inside of him wanted to go, he really did.. but Janus just pushed that feeling down deep, out of sight out of mind. He was not going trick or treating. That just wasn't something he was ever meant to do anyway. Besides, it's dumb and he's too old for it now.

He jumped when he heard a knock at his door. He looked up when he saw Emile peek in ever so slightly. "Hey kiddo. Remy is about to leave with the kids. He wanted me to ask you if you're sure you don't wanna tag along. The boys really would love to have you with them." 

That small part of him tugged again and Janus felt his eyes burn slightly. He bit the inside of his cheek and dug his nails into his legs, not looking up at Emile. "No, I'm not going, I already told you that. Now leave me alone." Janus mumbled between grinding teeth.

He heard Emile sigh softly, "Alright kiddo, I'm sorry to disturb you. I'll be downstairs if you need anything. Come down in a bit so you can have some candy." 

Then the door shut. Janus just sighed and let his head fall back against the wall, closing his eyes and turning up his music. 

God I hate Halloween.

Janus ended up dozing off a bit after that, and when he started awake again, heart pounding and body shaking, he decided that it might be a good ides for him to go get water and maybe some food. After a very long consideration, Janus came to the conclusion that it would be fine for him to go downstairs to get a snack. He'd just have to be careful.

He quietly crept out of his room and down the stairs, spotting Emile in the kitchen. The man smiled at Janus upon seeing him emerge from the shadows of the stairs, "Hiya, Jan! How are you feeling? Come down for some candy?" 

Janus flinched and hunched his shoulders, "No. I've never been one for sweets." He said smoothly, moving toward the cupboard to get his favorite chips. Ever since Janus accidentally admitted to Remy that they were his favorite, the cupboard mysteriously never ran out. 

Emile had just started to say something when the doorbell rang. "Op! One second kiddo, there are some trick or treaters at the door!!" He said happily, leaving the kitchen. 

But Janus didn't hear any of that. He was frozen where he was standing, eyes wide and unfocused, body trembling. Upon hearing the doorbell, Janus was immediately transported back to that night. 

He lay on the cold, dirty tile floor, half conscious and in unimaginable pain as the doorbell rang, and rang, and rang again and again. Mama forgot to turn off the porch light. 

As quickly as the flashback hit him, he was back in reality, struggling to keep his balance and dropping the bag in his hands, the chips spilling everywhere. Panic and adrenaline flooded his veins as he registered what just happened and what would follow. He heard the door shut in the distance and Emile's footsteps coming back to the kitchen and he panicked even more. 

I have to hide. He's gonna see me and he's gonna be so mad so mad oh god.. He's gonna tell Remy and they're gonna send me back why can't I do anything fucking right I don't want to go to another house, I like this one. I have to hide or he'll see, can't let him see, oh god please no please… 

Janus stumbled out of the kitchen and into the hallway bathroom just as Emile came into the kitchen through the other entrance. At first Emile just assumed that Janus had gone back to his room, but when he saw the mess of chips on the floor, and heard the bathroom door slam, he began to suspect that something was wrong. 

Furrowing his eyebrows, he walked through the kitchen slowly, stepping over the pile of chips and waking into the hallway, stopping at the closed bathroom door. They almost never used this bathroom, it was mostly for guests, as all of their bedrooms and two bathrooms were upstairs. So Janus being in that bathroom was odd in itself. And then Emile remembered the phone call he'd gotten a few days prior. Janus' social worker had called to inform them that the young teen had a pattern of severe mental breakdowns around Halloween day, and told Emile to watch for any suspicious behavior.

The muffled whimper that came through the door when he knocked was the final evidence Emile needed to realize something was very wrong with his foster son. Likely having much to do with what the social worker had told him. Being a trained therapist and just a concerned father figure, Emile knocked again, but softer, 

"Janus? Hey, it's Emile." He said, keeping his voice soft and even. "Are you okay in there, buddy?" 

It took all of Janus's strength to hold in his panicked gasps for air and his violent sobs at the same time. As soon as he'd closed the door to the bathroom he'd collapsed. He couldn't breathe, his body was trembling so hard he felt like he'd throw up, and his scars were aching furiously. 

He held his right hand to his face, his left to his shoulder and sobbed, gasping and crying, desperately trying to keep in the pleads for help that wanted to escape, just like that night. But pleads for help were useless, Janus learned that very early on. Nobody gave two shits that he was hurting, and even if they did, what would they do? There was nothing they could do to help him anyway, it was dumb and childish for him to even ask for help. So he just didn't. 

No matter how fucking hard he wanted to.

His mind was starting to slip, and the panic was only growing. Janus could feel the cold of the bathroom floor seeping through his sweatpants. The colder it got the more often his vision flashed from the Picani bathroom to mama's kitchen. Janus was terrified. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to. It hurt to remember, it hurt to see, it always made him scream, and then he got in trouble, and then sent away. It always made his foster parents realize he was too much to handle. Too much trouble for what he's worth.

But he couldn't help it. 

Janus's awareness was beginning to slip as the flashes put him in mama's kitchen even more often. The sound of constant doorbell, the smells of burned flesh and alcohol, the taste of copper in his mouth from biting his lip so hard, it was all flooding back to him. He needed to stay quiet though, so instead of gasping and crying and screaming like he wanted to do, he buried his nails into his skin. The phantom pain of burns began to bleed into real pain, but he didn't care. Whatever it took to keep himself from crying out. Whatever it took to prevent himself from giving the Picanis a reason to send him back, he'd do it. He heard Emile speaking on the other side of the door and whimpered loudly, terrified that he was in trouble. 

Have to stay quiet, have to- N-No... Please, I'm sorry. Please don't let me be in trouble, I can't- I'm scared.. have to be quiet- it hurts… I can't breathe… please help, I don't want to go back!

Janus didn't realize he was saying these things out loud until he heard Emile respond,

"Hey, it's okay bud, you're not in trouble, not at all. Can I come in? It sounds like you need some help with your breathing there, champ." Janus only panicked more.

No, no no no he can't come in he can't see me like this he'll think I'm too much he's gonna send me back they're gonna send me back but I don't want to go I like it here- He heard me, he's gonna send me back! No no no please I'll be good…

Janus didn't end up responding to Emile, just sobbing harder, his breathing reaching a dangerous abnormality. 

Noticing this, Emile decided that he was going to try to facilitate breathing exercises from the other side of the door. 

"Okay kiddo, listen to me. You're gonna be okay, I promise. I don't want you to hurt yourself though. I don't want you to pass out, so you gotta start breathing more normal, okay? Let's do an exercise. Can you breathe in for me while I count? I know it's hard but try for me, okay? Breathe in for one, two, three, four, five...." 

Emile led Janus through breathing exercises for about ten whole minutes before the young boy finally got his breathing under control. Emile's voice had acted as a nice constant to ground Janus and keep him from falling into the flashback, which was nice. That had never happened before. 

After his panic had mostly subsided, Janus was just exhausted and embarrassed. That was ridiculous, he hated that he just had to have a fucking breakdown every year on this day. Shouldn't he be over this by now? Pathetic.

"Good job, Kiddo, I'm so proud of you." Emile said from the other side of the door. 

What's there to be proud of? All I did was breathe. A basic human instinct. I can't even do that right on my own, I had to have someone help me, I don't see why that would be something worthy of pride.

He just didn't say anything. 

"You know Jan, it's not very good for people to be alone after they have a panic attack. See, you could get really lost in your mind and your thoughts could hurt you or make you hurt yourself." Emile explained softly, probably implying that Janus should let him in. 

No way.

"Mm not like other people. I like being alone." Janus lied, his voice cracking a bit. He heard a sigh,

"I'm sorry Jan, but I just don't think I believe that." Silence, "How about I tell you a quick story, hm?" He suggested, and Janus wanted to say no, but he didn't have the energy. 

"When I was younger, my sister was very sad. She didn't know how to handle her emotions, so she put all of her time into drinking, smoking and sex. I loved her with all of my heart, and it hurt me so much to see my big sister wasting away like that. One day, she came home with a new boyfriend. He was very mean to her, he hit her and did lots of bad things to her all the time, but she stayed, because she loved him. Eventually she got pregnant, but she wasn't happy. She almost got an abortion, but she decided that she couldn't bring herself to do it. So she had the baby. Patton, to be more specific." 

Janus's eyes widened, 

"When Patton was born everything seemed normal and good, and my sister was doing better. She wanted to do better for her son. But sometimes after you have a baby, you get very, very depressed. And she did. But the problem was, she was already depressed to begin with, so her postpartum depression eventually drove her to take her own life…"

Janus felt something wet on his cheeks. He reached up and touched them. His fingers came back with a mixture of blood and tears on them, and Janus could only stare with dazed confusion. 

"I was the one who found her, Patton was in his crib just feet away from my sister's dead body. It was horrible." It sounded to Janus like Emile was crying now, and that made him cry more for some reason. 

"Ever since then, I vowed to take care of Patton, and to help any other child who was in a similar situation to him or to her. I don't believe anyone should ever have to deal with something as awful as my big sister did, never. No one deserves to feel that pain. 

You don't deserve to feel that pain, Janus. But you did, you do, and there is nothing either of us can do about that. You can't change the past, but you don't have to deal with it alone. You should never have had to deal with it alone in the first place. I'm your caretaker, Janus, I'm here to support you. I care about you very much and I don't want to lose you. Ever. I don't want you to feel like you have no one in this world. Because you have me. And you have Remy, and Patton, Virgil, Logan, Remy and the twins. You have all of us now. We're your family. You're not alone, and you don't need to keep pretending like you want to be." 

At this point, Janus was crying silently, hand covering his mouth. 

"No one is going to get mad at you, kiddo. Not here. You're safe in this house, no one is going to judge or be mean to you. Your feelings are valid." 

The last thing hit Janus right where it needed to. The young boy burst into uncontrollable tears at that, his small body trembling harshly. He suddenly found himself sitting up and unlocking the door, pulling it open and letting himself fall into the open arms of his foster father. 

He knew he shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't be trusting Emile's words, he shouldn't be believing this too-good-to-be-true monologue. But he couldn't help it. He was hurting so much, and Emile was being so nice. Janus just wanted...he just wanted… something. He wanted a hug, wanted someone to hold him and tell him it's okay. He needed someone to tell him that what he was feeling was okay. And that's what he got, and that's what opened the floodgates. 

"Mm sorry...sorry sorry…" he whimpered, face buried in Emile's shoulder. 

The foster father just smiled sadly and delicately wrapped his arms around the small boy. "Shh, it's okay. You're not in trouble. I've got you, you're alright." 

For some reason, something compelled Janus to just start speaking. He began to spew words that probably didn't even make sense to Emile, but he just couldn't stop them. "F-f-flashba-ack-k.. m-m-momma's kitchen, c-cold floor I- I was scared.. so scared.. d-didnt wanna go back there, I didn't I promise!" He sobbed. 

Emile just shushed him softly and rubbed his hand up and down his back encouragingly. "It's okay, take deep breaths for me. You had a flashback? Do you know what triggered it?" 

Janus nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. "D-doorbell…" he whispered, praying that Emile wouldn't get mad at him. 

"Hm, I see. That's very good to know, thank you for telling me sweetheart." 

Janus nodded, moving his hand to press against his cheek again. His scars were still hurting a lot. "...hurts.." he whimpered, "s-so ugly…" his nails begun to dig into his scars again, causing even more pain to flare up. 

Emile was confused at first, but pulled away enough to see Janus sinking his fingernails into his already bleeding scars. "Oh!" He said softly, "Alright, let me see your cheek real quick." He said, gently taking hold of Janus' wrist. 

The young boy whimpered, but didn't make a move to stop Emile from guiding his hand away from his face. Emile was relieved to find that not much damage had been done to the poor boy's already scarred face, just a couple of crescent shaped imprints deep enough to bleed.

"Okay buddy, your face seems to be mostly okay. Did it hurt before your nails cut you?" Janus nodded, sniffling miserably. Emile hummed in understanding, "You were probably feeling phantom pains. That means your mind is making your scars hurt when you remember how you got them." He explained. That made a lot of sense, Janus wondered why he hadn't heard of that before. 

"How about we go sit on the couch, does that sound okay? I bet the floor doesn't feel very safe or cozy." 

He was right.. the floor was still causing possible flashbacks for Janus. And sitting on the couch sounded really nice… he didn't wanna let go of Emile...not yet at least.. he felt so safe and nice when he held him. 

Janus shivered, cold and exhausted from the recent events. "But..." he whispered, leaning heavily on Emile. "D-doorbell..?" 

Emile hummed in response, "I'll turn the porch light off so kids know not to ring it, how's that?"

Too tired to keep talking about it and feeling less stressed anyway, Janus nodded, "Mkay.." 

Emile led his oldest foster son into the living room, sitting him on the couch and wrapping him in a fluffy blanket. He turned the porch light off and even taped a little paper sign to the door that read: "Please DO NOT ring the doorbell, thank you :)" and then returned to the couch, turning on Steven Universe. 

Janus just stayed on the couch, leaning against Emile and dozing off for about an hour. He felt safe and nice, more so than he had in years. So many years...not since his father died when he was six. 

The half asleep boy jumped awake when the door opened and two screaming children ran inside, yelling Janus' name. He sat up from where he had been laying, head in Emile's lap, to see the twins barreling toward him, practically tripping each other all the way. 

"LOOK LOOK I GOT A SNAKE TOY FOR YOU!!"

"NUH UH! HE'S LYING! I GOT IT FOR YOU!"

A little plastic snake was shoved into Janus' hands. It was just a cheap little arcade toy painted yellow and black, probably something bought in bulk to give out instead of candy.

"Remy said you like snakes!! You like them right? We wanted to give it to you to make you happy!" Roman squealed, giant smile on his face as always. 

Janus's eyes widened in shock. He looked up towards the door where Remy was carrying a passed out Virgil on his back, Patton and Logan behind him. Then Janus looked at Emile, who was smiling down at him softly. He nodded toward the toy, and Janus immediately redirected his attention back to the energetic ten year olds in front of him. 

"You like it right??" Remus asked, staring hopefully at Janus. 

It was then that the older child began to cry for what felt like the ten thousandth time that night. Janus started crying, not because he was sad or miserable or in pain, but because he was so happy. He was genuinely overjoyed that his foster brothers thought about him and were so excited to show him their gift. It was so sweet. He hadn't gotten a gift for as long as he could remember, and it was genuinely the sweetest thing ever. 

Upon seeing their older foster brother cry, Roman and Remus began to bicker once again. 

"Look what you did! You made him cry!" 

"Nuh uh! I didn't do anything! You were the one that gave it to him!" 

"No! You just said like three seconds ago that you found it not me! This is your fault!" 

"Is not!" 

"Is to!" 

"Is not!" 

"Is to!" 

Janus just sniffled quickly before bursting into laughter, making both boys stop and look at him in confusion. Once Janus managed to calm down, he just shook his head, holding the snake in his hand close to his heart. 

"No...mm crying cause I'm happy. I love it. Thank you, both of you." 

Before Janus knew it, Roman had launched himself into his arms, giving him an impressively big hug for a little boy. Janus was surprised, but actually didn't push him away. He hugged him back, laughing a little still. 

Remus did the same after Roman finished, mumbling something about Janus being a "sappy sally" before pulling away.

That night Janus fell asleep on the couch with his two younger foster brothers cuddled up on either side, surrounded by empty candy wrappers. As he fell asleep, he had a nice thought, 

Maybe this could actually last this time. I think I'd like that...

**Author's Note:**

> There needs to be way more kid fics out there I wanna read about baby sides


End file.
